#REALLIFE – Social media and the lack thereof

How would you react if I told you that I don’t own a Facebook account and that I don’t use Twitter?

Why do I even bother with this website if I don’t use those platforms to spread the word of my website?
What if I told you that in the past, I worked in the social media/digital industry for about 5 years?
You wouldn’t believe me. Not many people would and in fact, they would much rather believe what I am now as opposed to what I am before. It makes it easier when they can term me as some semi-bimbo girl who just plays random games.
All those questions are truth. I used to own a Facebook and Twitter account. But the stress of it and how it eventually affected my private/personal life and relationships eventually led me to ditch it. You may not (or may) have realized it but, there has been some research done to show that Facebook can be a cause to depression. Why? 
On Facebook, everyone is always posting something happy and fun (and well you get the occasionally emo ones… or maybe a lot of the emo nonsense). Whether it’s genuinely telling the world that you truly are happy and are in a happy place and all, there are some who perceive it as you trying to rub your good luck and fortune in their faces. Also, that you could be ‘boasting’ of the things you have/own/achieve.
One good example was someone I used to know. Used to because well… we knew each other from way back during the days of iRC. His character is really the type to the dramatic about things and at times, glorify and exaggerate his accomplishments. Facebook became a platform where he spammed (to me, he was) all his accomplishments such as being commended by his dean at school or whatever project he was working with plus all the name-dropping. I know I’m not the only one who has fallen out with him, quite a number of our close friends have. Facebook made him an even more difficult person to actually communicate and talk to without giving him the benefit of doubt that he could actually prove to become a much humbler person over time.
Call me old fashioned, I’ve always believed that social media and its platforms were honestly tools to get people to stay a lot more connected with one another. But human nature has perverted it much to allow for narcissism, self-flattery, self-glorification. I confess, when I still had an account, I did fall prey to such behaviour. Now, when I no longer have it, I find myself a much happier person. Granted, I don’t know the daily ramblings and doings of my friends and family members, but there’s a reason why we have smart phones with data plans and things like Whatsapp and iMessage, just so we can connect with each other with a bit more of the personal touch.
The same goes for Twitter. I try not to turn this blog into a medium that gives me reason to unburden all my problems and woes. It gets tempting, but it’s focus is mainly games and the things that I’m interested in.
What’s the point of having a blog then? Don’t you want to reach out to people? Don’t you want more traffic to your website?
I’ve given up on being a ‘blogger’ blogger. I used to get invited to all these events but since I changed my nick and got rid of my social accounts, it’s all been quiet. Do I regret the decision? There are times where I do, where I see pictures on blogs here and there and see snippets of conversation. Then I stop and take a step back. Did I really want to be invited? I recall my experience at these events and remembered how awkward I felt and how difficult I found it to be talking and mingling and socializing with other people. I may appear extroverted, but in truth, I like being on my own and doing my own things. 
I’ve grown out of that phase. I’m lucky and happy to have had the experience when I was younger. But for now, I look towards more meaningful relationships with discussions regarding things that aren’t flakey or shallow.
We’re all allowed that and I understand that it might be something that other people might agree with. But hey, there’s a reason why the phrase “to each his won” was coined.
To the people out there who somehow stumbled upon this blog by accident or via my Instagram (that is the only social media luxury I afford myself), thanks for dropping by and sorry if this site isn’t your cup of tea. Still, I thank you for even clicking on the link to see what this sorry place is all about and maybe someday, there would be something that appeals and is of interest and perhaps, you too will explore and maybe even enjoy something that’s unconventional to your day-to-day routine.

#BOOKFILLER – Terry Brooks and Bloodfire Quest

Right after I was done with Mark Lawrence’s Broken Empire series, I jumped back to Bloodfire Quest. Yet another Shannara-related book by Terry Brooks. Sometimes I wonder how it’s able to sustain my interest and like for so long. This series I mean. You thought it’d end with one sacrifice after another. But it doesn’t. And you are pulled pulled pulled deeper. Betrayal, deceit, hope and loss and tangled in one lump that makes you wonder if there is any way for the heroes to ever come out unscathed and unscarred.

Impossible. So I’m done with that. I should hunt down the next in the series but thought I’d give myself a break with some parodical steampunk nonsense. So far it seems interesting but there’s always too much chatter and filler and it lacks the same kind of allure and entrapment as the other books I’ve read. I can put this book down and wait a couple of hours or even days before decided to get back on it.

Have I mentioned what a picky reader I am?

#INGAME – Alice and the Colossal Ruin

I don’t give up.

Well, not all the time. Only when I’ve tried everything I have, done everything I can.

But this time, I have to say, that I’ve given up. I thought taking a few weeks, months even, away from Alice and this stupid blasted Colossal Ruin would give me fresh insight on how to kill it and get past the stage. But I went back. I died a couple more times. Ranted and raved and hurled vulgarities and everything else.

It eludes me. This… winning. I don’t know how to kill it. It refuses to be killed and I HATE that stupid insidious ruin that just appears and hits me JUST when I’ve got a nice shot at the big baddie.

Maybe I need to take another break.

In other slightly less aggravating news, I’ve turned Level 8 on DoTA 2 and pretty much having an awesome time. No longer limited to just the Sniper and Drow Ranger. I have expanded my range to using Medusa, Luna, Viper, Death Prophet, Jakiro and even Zeus. And I even managed kills. And I farm better.

But then again I am still playing against bots and have yet to play against humans. They might pwn me and humble me down to size.

I’ve also met my fair share of trolling morons, idiots and douchebags. But what else is new?

#BOOKFILLER – The Anti-heroes

Two different series I’ve read and both leaving behind the kind of feeling that makes you think and wonder. Perhaps the first felt more like idle fantasy. Or maybe not idle. But it was a book that provoked thought and emotion and had me tearing and feeling the same way as I did when reading books by Terry Brooks. 

The second however, was something that left me feeling… I wouldn’t say lost. But it was a sad feeling in some ways despite the author’s intention for his reader to remember his anti-hero yet hero, in a blazing light. 
What are these two series?
Sarah J Maas – Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight
Mark Lawrence – Broken Empire trilogy
I think anti-heroes are like the in-thing. There is no such thing as the pure goody two shoes protagonist. Even knights have their failings and in these books, there were plenty of it. The best books in some ways are the ones that paint a picture of the lead in a light that is most similar to all of us, to its readers. We have our own dark secrets. We harbor dark dreams. 
I’ve been to sites discussing the anti-hero of Mark Lawrence’s books. People agree to disagree and most times views for it. Maybe they are the puritans who can’t find how someone as broken and twisted and warped as Jorg can ever be hailed and deemed a true hero when he is far from it. What hero kills, or believes that the deaths of even innocents justify the journey to a glorious end. By wasn’t that what conquerors and dictators believed in as well? 
That he did allow for a hero or potential hero to be one of pure heart but that is a wishful ideal held by so many and yet so hard to ever come to light. 
The first book had me thinking that Jorg is something short of a genius, a prodigy. A madman trapped one the skins and wrappings of a fourteen-year-old. No child in this day and right mind would be able to complete nor confess to accomplishing things that he has. But it is all fiction no? What if fiction were mirrors to reality?
In any case I would have talked about Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight. But for another time. Having just completed the last book in the Broken Empire trilogy and I find myself exhausted. So much emotion tied to words and only words. 

#GAMEBREAK – Just too much

Old naysayers were right when they said that too much of a good thing is bad. Though I wouldn’t say that DoTA 2 is necessarily good. It’s been eating way too much of my time making me neglect quite a number of things that need to be done. Though I still guess I’m enthralled by how some players seem to be adept and versatile at playing every character. 

Was reading a page on how to improve in DoTA and not suck so much. Practice is the key and you have to try out each of the 100+ heroes at least once. I’m reminded again of some friends who play LoL and say that DoTA is just a rip off. They claim LoL is harder to train and be good at but when I compare it to DoTA, I honestly think the latter is a lot harder to master. I mean why else have some players taken years to achieve that almost god likeness in their game play?
I know for certain that I am a very bad strength and intel player. I don’t micro manage very well and thus my magic spams are really just all over the place. I’m more of an agi ranged player. At least I know I won’t die so fast and so often. Although against certain enemy bots, even my most skilled character ends up getting pwned one too many times. 
Enough of DoTA though. I dyed my hair. It’s red and my mother tells me it’s like rust growing n my head. Thanks mum. Love you still. Losing this motivation and drive in work… Well… Simply because. 
And oh fitness. It’s that time of the month so I’m game raging a lot more than I should to the extent that my bookend gets scared when I play. I also eat way too much and too often. Or rather, I eat too often but the portions are actually the same. 
I think I should go back to Alice. Maybe after all that DoTA, I’d be able to find a way to get past the Colossal Ruin. If not, it’s another game I’m going to shelve for awhile, again. 
And don’t ask me about FarCry3.